Loving Yourself - Step 6

I am finally on Step 6 of this 12-part blog.   Hope you enjoy.


To review:   The steps covered so far.
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1. To admit we are powerless over what others think of us.
2. To come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves loves us regardless of anything we do.
3. To make a decision to see ourselves as that higher power of unconditional love sees us.
4. To Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. To Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the ways we limit loving ourselves.
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Step 6:  To face these limits, work through our fears in order to love ourselves.

So; why is step 6 and 7 separate?  It may seem that once we uncover our limitations, share them with others, become accountable, then we should go directly that higher power to overcome these limits, right?

Not so fast!   (I keep telling myself this!)

First, we must reflect on what fears define these limits.   Next, we take a look at what is necessary to overcome them.  Finally, we see how we and God can be a part of these solutions.   

For example, in middle school I was a geek and slightly overweight.   This is a deadly combination.    I was called every name in the book, made fun of, and developed a very poor self-image.   I could take this through all the steps, but what the moral inventory made me see about it was that this was based on the fear of not being loved by others.   This feeling, to a greater or lesser degree has been with me since then.

Reflecting on the fear of not being loved, what do I have control over; what can I do individually to address this problem?   What can others do?  What part needs to be given over a Higher Power?  

Individually, I have the choice on what to do with this feeling of not being loved, or the fear of such.   I can choose to feel it.   To spend my time and energy on re-experiencing these feelings, and dredging up memories which reinforce this.   Or, I could choose to seek the opinions and help of others, and that higher power.

That is it really.   The one thing I can always do with whatever limitation, fear, or obstacle is to CHOOSE how to respond to it.   The most important thing is to CHOOSE!

Now, I can take this fear and see how God can be a part of the solution.   The major thing I must caution against in this step is the tendency to think we can make those changes on our own.

Let's face it, this all ties back to the previous steps.   Besides the choice to do something about the fear, we need something to connect to that enables us, empowers us to follow through with that choice.   In this way, we become co-creators of our lives with God.

I have made the choice that I will turn back to what I know God see's in me, the degree to which God loves me, and uses others to continue to remind me of this.   God is always in my mind as I choose to overcome that fear of not being loved.   God is indelibly part of that process and never separate.

At the end of this step, I have the realization that my part in the process is to choose to overcome these fears and to choose to include God in every process.   When this happens, we are ready for the next step, actually welcoming that Higher Power in these processes.