The Crucible of Change

Change happens whether we like it to or not.

But in what environment can we change the best?

I have looked over my life and have found that the most significant changes happened when I was in a crucible of a mixture of failure, paralysis, fear, and ironically love.

Whether it was a person who I felt loved me, or that I once again remembered that God loved me, the love itself allowed the fear to subside to the point that I could take an honest assessment of myself.   Before love arrived, I was paralyzed into repeating the same behavior, the same set of thoughts that created the situation in the first place.  I cannot correct a problem with the same mind and heart that created it.   I had to change to recognize a need for change.

Then the love acted as the walls of the crucible.   Without the overpowering fear, running away, denial, repression, or depression could not occur.  I could look at the problem face on and not flee.   Most of the time, the love I felt also cut through the background fear, self-protectiveness, and self-limiting thoughts that did not allow a solution to be seen before.  

Once I saw the way to another way of living, getting beyond that problem or life-situation, then again love (for myself and my own well-being) gave me the energy to make a plan for change and to implement it.  

Many people say that one of the greatest fears is that of being alone.   I can empathize with that.   Without another being or source of love, change is very difficult indeed.   In fact, the option for change may not even be recognized and people are left in mute misery.   What is important here is not that you believe in God, or even something greater than yourself (though that helps) but that you recognize and let in the love from others in your life.   Even the kindness from a stranger can begin a series of events that may fundamentally change your life forever.   Or, in my case, a continual bombardment of love and support for years upon years to get through my stubborn self.

Other people cannot change you.   However, their love and support can be the crucible for your self-change.