"You're just being too sensitive!"

"You're just being too sensitive!"

Oftentimes, this kind of thing is said when we say something to someone and they take it much harder than we intended it to be taken.    Yet, to defend ourselves, we put it on them that they are too sensitive.   Yes, i myself am guilty of this more than once.   And you know what, I am sensitive.

I really think I need to look at this whole sensitivity thing a bit closer.

I think to some degree that everyone has sensitivities in certain areas of their life.   Usually, it has to do with some emotional situation that occurred in their past, or that they have caused or been caused to feel some intense emotion, physical pain, or spiritual angst.

Emotional sensitivity is very common.   Oftentimes, when we are talking with people, we notice that certain subjects are avoided by people.   They become quiet, or change the subject very quickly, or become suddenly defensive.   We almost expect this.   In fact, when conversation is so easy and effortless and it seems that no topic is uncomfortable or off-limits, that we ourselves start feeling a little uncomfortable.   We are guarded or reserved and feel bad that we cannot return the open and honest and unguarded conversation of the other.

Emotional sensitivity also means that there are more direct connections to that other person's emotions in some areas that others.   The normal defenses are not working.   The level and speed with which these emotions can be accessed and are expressed are out of proportion with the others.   If we are goodd listeners, and good friends, these areas are sometimes portals into a deeper understanding of another

Physical sensitivity is also very common.   People who have had injuries, or some physical trauma, or emotional trauma that is triggered by a physical sensation, reaction, or condition, also are protective and sometimes defensive about these areas.   For example, when I was overweight, and tried to hide my gut (which was very large) I would not allow people to touch my stomach.   I was not aware of it, but I would block people from even getting near my stomach.   I also has a triple fracture in my foot and for months later, I was very careful about even touching my own foot.   It was in my awareness all the time.   People pick up on this.   Some people we consider "touchy" usually have a good reason.   Victims of physical abuse, or traumatic injury usually are very sensitive about being touched. 

In some recovery programs for people who have gone through traumatic physical events, there are such things as rebirthing events and other touch intensive therapies.   Ironically, several of these techniques also help getting over emotional traumas as well. 

Spiritual sensitivity is a tricky one.   Though, in my own experience, I would say that his is more common than the other two.   We have all had experiences that can be interpreted as either very normal, realistic, logical, explainable, and grounded.   Conversely, other experiences we may consider otherworldly, spiritual, existential, unreal, and nebulous.   These experiences can be as traumatic or more so than emotional or physical events.   Most people with whom I have talked about spirituality are extremely touchy about this.   I have been touchy about this myself.   Many people are very sensitive about their spirituality their entire lives.   There are fewer resources to explore, get in touch with, and work through our spiritual sensitivities.   For physical and emotional sensitivities, there are medical, holistic, psychological,  social and may other avenues for understanding and addressing these sensitivities.

Being sensitive is not bad or good.   I guess I may have painted it as only being related to traumas or bad things happening.   This is not true.   There are times of intense physical, emotional and spiritual events that are enormously positive.

The easiest example of physical positive sensitivity is of course, physical pleasure.   Some pleasure is so enormously fulfilling that once we experience it, we change the course of our lives so that we can experience it again.   (No....I am not just talking about sex.)  There are adherents to some Yoga philosophies and practices because they wish to recapture the physical, transcendent states that they human body can get into.  

Emotionally, crushes are a great example of positive sensitivities.   Our senses seem more alive, we notice all the small and subtle things about the other person.  

Spiritually, there have been mountain-top experiences that have changed a person's life, and sometimes an entire country's or church's history.

The common thread through all these areas of sensitivity is that they are more direct connections to the senses, feelings, thoughts, and beliefs of people.   If treated with respect, they are very effective avenues to get to know and love another person for who they are.   If disrespected, they can be relationship and friendship killers.

I guess I just had to explore this sensitivity question.   Consider it my own sensitivity training.

Observations from a Recovering Intensaholic!

Again, the deep end.

I am an intensaholic.  I am addicted to being intense.   Take it from me; do not stay in the deep end all the time!

Most people cannot sustain that intensity and attribute lasting and deep significance to everything that happens.  Normally, people experience a life-altering experience and they temporarily become intense.   Eventually, they revert back to a normal level.

It is good to visit the deep end from time to time.   It alters the way we view the world and does make us appreciative of the little things in life, and of the people who deserve our appreciation.   Do not stay in this place!   People are meant to cycle from one level to another; never being in one state or another for very long.

I have lived at this level of moment to moment significance, attributing vast meaning to almost every occurrence in my life.  There are some shortcomings.

By choosing to live each moment in this way I miss the moments that mean nothing more than that I can enjoy people's quirks, mannerisms, faults, and idiosyncrasies that make relationships so rich in the first place.  If I do not take these at face value, read too much into these actions, then the spontaneity and joy is lost.   Sometimes a joke is a joke, and a silly comment is a silly comment.   No one likes their trivial offerings to be taken as some huge, significant truth or observation.   It spoils the ability for others to be themselves and to be spontaneous in their dealings with me.

While I feel comfortable being intense most of the time, other people begin to feel a little "creepy" around me.   I do not blame them.   If I looked at myself with the intense focus that I give to others, I would be "creeped" out too.    There are times when we like to have someone's undivided attention.   It makes us feel valued and that someone listens to us.   When we wish to be ignored, to not have that focus on us, then when someone like me locks my eyes on them, they want to leave the area.   It has happened many times.

Being intense also means that when I do not have a target for that intensity, it turns inward.   Then instead of seeing significance in everything that others do, I attribute too much and too many times, incorrect attributions to my own thoughts and actions.   It is like being on trial and you are your own persecutor, judge and jury.

As this blog started out stating, I am a recovering Intensiholic.

So from me to you.....

"Every moment is pregnant with significance; but, even pregnancies have their lighter side!"

The Deep End - Watch Out

On numerous occasions, I have been so caught up in living in the deep end, that I have forgot that it is in the deep end that I and others can drown.

For example, years ago, when I was out of college, had a job with the state, a place of my own, I tried dating.   Yes, even me.

There was one lady with whom I started a wonderful email conversation.   Several emails into it and I thought it was headed toward something, though I had never met her in person.   She was a friend of a friend.   That kind of thing.

On the fourth email, something just happened to my self-governor and all these weighty matters, opinions, and intense perceptions just came out.   All communication ceased on her part.    I wrote another couple of emails, asking after her, but nothing.

I looked over that email, and put myself in her shoes.   What seemed to be a light and humorous exchange of ideas in the past 3 emails was overcome by this serious monologue that showed a person, not light and pleasant but deep and brooding.   I was astonished that this email even came from me.  

I got to the point that I was comfortable enough to launch myself into the deep end.   She was not in the same place.   Later, I learned that she had met someone else, not long after this email.   Such is life.

The point of this little sojourn into my past is that I was so excited about sharing my deep feelings and thoughts with someone that I bypassed that little thing called small-talk.   I did not wait until both people in the relationship were comfortable with this intensity, but only waited until I was comfortable.

A few years later, I was on the opposite end of this experience.

I met the sister of one of my friends at the state.   She was wickedly intelligence.   I love intelligent women.  She not only got all of my second and third related quotes, humor, insights, etc., but she blew me out of the water with some of hers.   The first date was fantastic.   I could live in the deep end with ease with this person.   Or so I thought.

It quickly became apparent that she placed so much significance in absolutely everything that I said and did and that she took life so seriously that I was the one who tried to lighten things up.   I told jokes, quips, puns.   I tried to change the subject on multiple occasion when things were getting too intense.   It just so happened that circumstances changed in such a way that she left for another city and we stopped talking. 

From these two experiences, I can finally see that small-talk, humor, light conversation and fun is so important because even I (who have lived in the deep end most of my life) need to paddle and splash in the shallow end from time to time.

Every moment is pregnant with significance.   But even pregnancy has its funny points (or so I have heard).

Sudden Happenings

 

Sometimes things happen so fast that we are just not prepared for them.

Today, while returning from work, I saw a min-van overturned in a ditch under a bridge.   I immediately hit my brakes, turned around, parked and went down into the gully.   The minivan was completely upside down, steam coming off the underside of the engine.   I tried calling 911 but my cell had no signal.  I went on down.

The driver was there, but it took a little while for me to be able to tell that he was even alive.   I got close enough that I could hear him breathing, but it sounded like he had punctured a lung, or like breathing though water; that gurgling sound.   Blood was coming from his mouth and covered part of his head.

I tried to talk to him, to get him to respond, but he did not.   At this time, I hailed the next car that came down this country road and he called 911 on his cell phone.   But even he could not keep the signal and he had to call back.   Finally a dump truck came by and he used his two-way to call EMS.

I found myself telling this man that he was going to be fine.   That help was on its way.   All the stupid things that I always see on TV, but what else could I say to him.   I was not even sure the was conscious.

When the other man got out of his truck and knelt down by the man I went around the overturned minivan and looked to see if there was a passenger.   The entire passenger portion of the cab was completely crushed.   I thought the worse at that point.

Finally, a medic happened to be driving by and she stayed with the driver.   We had to wait for EMS and the police to show up.

This was the first time I had been around this kind of thing.   I felt helpless while waiting for help to arrive.   If this had happened in the city I think we would have had someone there within 5 minutes.   Out in the country it was more like 15 minutes.    The longest 15 minutes of my life.   I assume, even longer for the driver.

This happening reminded me that we really have no control over things sometime.   Sometime we feel helpless and do not know what we can do.    We are told that under certain conditions we are to do nothing.   We wait for the professionals to arrive.   We wait for someone who is trained to take over.

Sometimes we can do more harm by trying to do good when we do not have the skills or the training to provide the help that is really needed.

This goes for more than just accidents and car crashes.   Sometimes, we would like to think that we can counsel someone about a crisis they are currently experiencing.   It is the wise person who knows when to request that the other person get some professional help.   Otherwise, we may do more harm.

We cannot solve some problems.   We must ask for help.

I must ask for help.

Receiving at the Speed of Appreciation

Have you heard the many stories of lottery winners, or people who inherit huge sums, or those that suddenly come into money through the sales of a business or idea?  Most who suddenly go from being poor to rich have trouble not loosing everything after two or three years.

There are stories after stories about people who lost it all, and feel like their life would have been better if they had never become rich.

This is an easy example of what happens when we receive something so fast that we cannot appreciate it.  We can not recognize the true worth, the place in our lives, the subjective and objective impact that these changes will bring to our lives.

When things are slowed down, and people have the time or make the time to appreciate what they have received, take time to invest, to get financial counseling, then at the end of two to three years they are the ones who still have money, friends, relationships.  

This also applies to much more than money. 

So how do we Receive at the Speed of Appreciation?

1.  Accept change peacefully.

Whenever change comes into our lives, if we stop and accept it peacefully, then we realize that we choose how to think and respond to what has happened.   We can accept it without the resistance, shock, denial, or even overblown happiness,  euphoria, loss of inhibition.   If our goal with change is to have a goal of peace, then we can be in a place where we can take stock of our true situation without being overwhelmed by the change itself.

2.  See the change in the context of what kind of person you wish to be with this change in your life.

If you received money, how do you wish to see yourself in relation to that money.   Are you going to be a flash in the pan, or a dedicated financial investor?  There is no wrong answer.   If you want to live quick and live large for a short time, go for it.   At least you have thought about it.   If you just received a new car, a new house, or a new business, again how do you see yourself in relation to it?  Change, regardless of what it is, defines who we are in relationship to it.   Most people react.   By appreciating it, we have the opportunity to make a choice of who we wish to be.

3.  Appreciate how your change affect others.

If you have a new business, family and friends and even strangers are going to react to you differently.   If you get a large amount of cash, the same thing happens.   If a change like losing a job or business occurs, again it will affect the relationships around you.   Once again, who will you be to these other people?   Will the change in your life make you retreat, become defensive, secretive.   Or will you choose to be open, honest, and self-respecting?   Change is the perfect time to define who you will be to those around you.

4.  As the time period between experiencing change and appreciating that change decreases, the ability to handle change in your life improves.

Wouldn't it be great if we could be guaranteed to have peace of mind regardless of what happened in our lives?   This is really what this blog is about.   When you receive at the speed of appreciation, you are ensuring that you have peace of mind.   You are also ensuring that the change will affect you in the way that you choose to have it affect you.

So...Write a Book

I  have been asked by a few of my friends why I do not write a book.   This is a good question.

My first response, sadly, is one of fear.  

A Book.   That is such a commitment of time and effort! 

Then, of course, comes the other self-statements:

What if it is no good?

Will anyone even read it?

Then, I have to be honest and ask myself the other questions:

What if it is good?

What if other people start expecting other good books from me?

What if I am looked at as some expert or something?

These fears all boil down to a fear of disappointing the people around me by not living up to their expectations.  

Let's face it, if I do nothing, there are no expectations.

Yet, I limit myself so greatly by not attempting to do those things that require taking risks.   Like writing a book.   It is at the edge of risks, and at the edge of my own discomfort that real living takes place.

So, will I start writing a book?   It is so difficult to put these words out there in the universe.   So much resistance.   But......yes.   Universe, I will be writing a book.   God, I will write a book.   And of course, Oh God!  I am writing a book!  (Help me Lord!!!!!!!!!!!!)

Celebrate your Culture.

I am attracted to many other cultures.   There is the varied and amazing group of cultures that we all categorize as "American Indian."   This is a little unfair as there were thousands of individual tribes, thousands of beliefs, way of life, dress, customs, etc.   Some were nomadic while others were some of the first to practice animal husbandry on the North American continent.   Then there is everything in between.  

I met a member of the Cheyenne tribe.  She and her family had lived in Minnesota for years before moving to Texas.   I was immediately taken by the richness of her culture and her history.   She gathered once a year with other Cheyenne to celebrate this culture.   In fact, they had two celebrations.   One celebration was more for the public, with the custom dress and dance.   The other was just for the members of the tribe. 

In the first, they enacted their rituals much like my family did when celebrating Christmas in a Pageant at church.  It meant something, but the real meaning was back at home, with friends and family, being ourselves.   From what I heard from this woman, I think the second gathering was very much like this.   They just loved getting back together with family and friends and celebrating that fact.

I am a bit envious of people who know their history and culture and celebrate that part of their lives.   Being a Mutt, a combination of many nationalities, I do not have a defined culture.  I think I miss out.  I think I miss out a lot.

From a mutt to you;  if you have a rich culture, celebrate it.   Don't miss out on knowing your history and rejoicing in it.

Some Reflections on a Friend's Childhood

Years ago, I had a talk with a woman who really has some problems with connecting with men.   She has more than ample reason for this.  Trust me.

She was adopted.   But rather than being totally accepted and taken into her new family, the mother loved her, but the father never connected with her.   Later, when her parents had a child, the father treated him with all the love and devotion that he never showed her.   When growing up, all the problems that came up were her fault.   She was the underachiever, the problem child in her father's eyes.


When she finally left for college, she immediately found herself dating men who treated her as a second-class person.   They ridiculed her and ignored her, blamed her for everything, and eventually left her.   She would immediately try to find another relationship, and the cycle would start all over again.


What amazed me is that there were men who were attracted by her, that were honest, decent, and kind men.   She just did not find them attractive.   She would not give them the time of day.


It was very troubling seeing her go from bad relationship and less than wonderful man to the other.


Now, I felt from her this deep resentment to all men.   I can empathize.   Yet, I see this as a step.  I am not saying that hating all men is a good thing, but at least she is now angry over something, rather than being apathetic or depairing over how she is treated by those same men.


I know that there are many things that I would share with her today, that I did not when I knew her.


I would say that it is more of a risk to get together with a person with whom you can actually develop intimacy.   When the other person takes the time to get to know and understand you, loves you, and with whom you feel comfortable enough to start healing yourself.


I truly feel that love and intimacy, mutual acceptance and patience can help her in a relationship to face those fears of inadequacy, not being loved, not being valued.

Just like this woman, we all have those fears of never being loved.   She has the disadvantage of not being loved as a child, but I feel that she, like us, can heal that portion of her life.

If we are surrounded by love, we can face ourselves; take the pain that all such honest self-reflection creates, and learn to love ourselves.   This is really what healthy relationships are so good at doing.   Allowing us to love and respect ourselves.

I hope she is doing better these days.   She, like all of us, deserve to be loved and to love.

Inspire another and Inspire Yourself.

I was reminded, quite strongly today, that getting over being negative about my own life is simply a matter of trying to inspire someone else with their life.

Sounds easy?   Guess what, it is!!

I was feeling a little discouraged today.   Some things in my life that I wanted to have in my life by this time are not yet in my life.   There are several excuses for this.   Some of them are actually valid, but the timetables I set for myself are slipping.   It is discouraging.   Literally, the opposite of courage, fear.  Dis-Couraging.  After chatting with my friend, I no longer felt discouraged.   I felt full of life and re-inspired.

A little background about my friend:

She is going through a horrific time with her son.   He has severe heart problems and his prognosis for even the next 5 years is not too good.   She asked me my opinion on how to keep him from worrying about the tests that are upcoming and his prognosis.   Worrying is really not a strong enough word.   Despairing might be a better one.

I found that by talking with her about the hope, the quality of life, the strength of humor, and the attitude that the parents have directly effect how their child will process events.   Will it be a time of fear about what may come, or will it be a time of getting the information they need to know to live life to the fullest amongst his particular limitations.  

I do not quote myself that much in these blogs, but I feel that the words that came from my mouth show that something greater than myself was giving me the words.    (In other words, I am not this wise in real life.  I have to have help from a divine source.)

This is part of a conversation with the mother of this boy on the impending day of cardiac testing.
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"Children pick up on what is happening around them.  They look to their parents and family for cues to their behavior in any situation.   If you are tense and worrying about his testing, he will be.   If you rather see it as helpful, he will."

"Testing helps to get rid of the unknown.   The fear comes from the unknown.   Am I healthy, ill, dying, is my heart failing again?  What is my prognosis?   Can I have any hope when I do not know the future?  Anything that can give you concrete information will help you and your son to address whatever comes up."



"If you have as the goal of the next couple of weeks is to find what there is about life that you can appreciate and love, live and enjoy now, then the day you get testing done will be just like those days.   They are ones filled with life, love, joy, hope, and peace."

"Have as the goal of that day of testing to live the sh*t out of life!   Knock the doctor's and P.A.'s socks off by your vibrancy for living.   By your hope and joy shining out of your life.   Tell jokes that day.   Get a book of jokes and keep the reception area in stitches.    Live."
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The Next Breath

Nothing in life is so little that one cannot appreciate it. - Anonymous

In college, I had a friend that had severe asthma.   He and I talked one day about what happens when he had a severe attack.   It opened my eyes to what we all take for granted in this life:  our next breath.

He told me that sometimes his air passages would suddenly close down and breathing was like inflating a balloon using a coffee straw.   No matter how hard he tried to breathe in, he felt he was slowly suffocating.  Many times, he said, that his vision would start going dim; turning dark around the edges.   I cannot think of anything more scary than to use your utmost effort and energy just to take the next breath.

I so take life for granted.

Medically, we have no idea why we are alive.  There really is no reason why the next breath even comes.  Just imagine.   The very air coming into our lungs, the thousands of chemical reactions that take place in a second that transfer that oxygen to our bloodstream, is truly amazing.   It is the ultimate demonstration of faith that we actually can forget that we breath.   We can go to sleep without the fear that we will stop this cycle.

Yet, at any moment, we can choose to hold our breath; take in a deeper breath; breath shallow; breath into the upper chest; breath into the lower chest.   If you are a singer or play a brass instrument, you know all these ways of breathing.   Breath the wrong way and you cannot sustain the music, the notes, the song.

The analogy though goes far past just taking in the oxygen we need.   Breathing in is also taking in life.   Breathing out is making an expression of that life.  We express (push out) in response to what we have breathed in.

When we breathe in deeply, we affirm the life, the moment we are in, the significance of what is happening to us now.   We express the gratitude for this life, this moment in breathing out.

We breathe in and breathe out:  This is life.  When we take in good, we express good.   When we take in bad, we express bad.

What have you breathed in today?  What have you expressed out?

New Years Affirmations

I do not do resolutions.   At least not once a year.

For me, those resolutions are affirmations that I make to myself every day; sometimes several times a day.

"I am a vibrant, healthy man."

This one, I can say with all honesty, because I can see health in me, growing in me day by day.   Am I completely healthy....not yet, but I am well on my way.

"I am worthy."

This one is more difficult to say with strict honesty and candor.   Yet, I know that the experiences I had and the mind set that brought be to a place of not seeing myself as worthy as illusions.   They are conclusions that I made and thoughts that I have.   I can change them.   I can begin viewing myself as worthy of love, success, joy, and health.

"I love myself."

How do I say this without feeding into the ego?   This statement and the belief of it is the death of my ego.   When I come to fully accept and love who I am; body, mind and spirit, the ego has no hold over me anymore.   I am firmly convinced that when I truly and fully love myself as I see God loving me, that I will be free of all disease, illness, and barriers to feeling and experiencing love with others.

"Whatever is missing from my life, by bringing it into the life of another, I find it within myself."

I know that when I lack peace, by bringing peace to another I find that I have peace.    When I feel like I don't have enough love in my life, when I love others, I find love within.   I know that I cannot give away what I do not have.   By giving it away, I affirm that I have it in my life.

"I choose what my life will be and who I will be."

I choose what I am and how I will respond to anything life brings.   I choose from moment to moment what kind of person I wish to be.  I have the choice of being a man of peace; of having joy; of being a vessel of healing; a being of compassion.   I choose.   Life does not choose for me who I will be.   I choose!

Another Tale of Mau'sean

Another Tale of Mau'sean
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Mau'sean was known throughout the region as a man of peace.   Many people sought his guidance in finding their own peace.  Most came away becoming masters of peace themselves....except for Drin.

Drin began his training in peace with Mau'sean when he was a small boy.   He was sent when his parents feared for the young boy's safety and the safety of the rest of the family. 

As all the villagers already knew, Drin was born with a scowl on his face and both fists raised against the world.  At age two he started a fight with a stray cat and won.   At four, he beat against the wall of his neighbor's house until he tore a hole into the wall.   At five, a wandering monk suddenly found himself pummled by Drin carrying a large tree branch.

Finally, Drin was dragged kicking and screaming to Mau'sean and begged the master to teach the boy about peace.

Many years went by and Drin got slightly better.   At twenty years of age, he no longer raged against the world all the time, and could even visit for short times in his village.   However, after a few hours among other people he would invariably loose his temper and then have to be dragged off by Mau'sean.

It was to the credit of Mau'sean that he continued working with Drin year after year.


At the time of Mau'sean's death, Drin was fourty-seven.   Just before he shut his eyes for the last time, Drin asked his master why he kept Drin those many years.

Mau'sean replied, "Drin, you are my best student that I have ever had because you continued to teach me, the master of peace, about how to practice peace.  The best student is one who teaches the teachers how to once again be students."

And with those words, Mau'sean closed his eyes for the last time.

Memories

This is the longest time I have spent not blogging.   In fact, I didn't do much emailing, chatting, or surfing this holiday season.   It was strange.   I did some, but not much.

I did not intent to take a break from technology.   However, I was never "in the mood" to email, chat and so forth.   The very connectedness to which I had become accustomed just didn't seem to matter.

There were memories of Christmas that kept me company.   Strangely, not one tender memory included a piece of modern technology.  

One Christmas, I spent under the tree, looking up into the branches and seeing the lights.   I spent a lng time there one morning.   Just being.

Another Christmas, I spent time with my then girlfriend.   We kissed under fake-mistletoe (or any hanging green thing that looked vaguely plant-like.) 

One time, there were so many family members, relatives, etc. that the living room was full of sleeping bags and bodies.   No way for a small child to get to the bottom of the tree Christmas morning without waking one of the "adults" up.

Many a Christmas was full of laughter.   A joke present, a funny card setting off someone into a titter of mirth, or a belly busting burst of guffaws.

So many memories. 

I wonder if these generations of children will have the same memories.   People with People, rather than Chat to Chat, or Text Message to Text Message.

100 Benefits of Meditation

I practice meditation.   There is not a day that goes by that I do not get some meditation time.   In fact, the days that I spend more than an hour in meditation, usually turn out to be the best days.

I thought that I would share with you 100 Benefits of Meditation that I found on the Internet.

Remember, meditation is not related to any one religion, belief, or faith.   In addition, there is no bad way to meditate.   Empty your mind in silence, or focus on a Biblical passage, repeat a phrase, use a primordial sound, touch a flower, stare at a flame.   There is no wrong way.
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Taken from http://www.ineedmotivation.com/blog/2008/05/100-benefits-of-meditation/
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There are so many advantages to meditation. When I first originally thought of this post, I indeed wanted to make it 100 benefits long (think big right!), however, I wasn’t sure I could find more than perhaps 20-25 benefits. Well, I made it happen! Meditation is as powerful as I thought it would be. Here is the definitive list of benefits that meditation can provide you with:


Physiological benefits:
1- It lowers oxygen consumption.
2- It decreases respiratory rate.
3- It increases blood flow and slows the heart rate.
4- Increases exercise tolerance.
5- Leads to a deeper level of physical relaxation.
6- Good for people with high blood pressure.
7- Reduces anxiety attacks by lowering the levels of blood lactate.
8- Decreases muscle tension
9- Helps in chronic diseases like allergies, arthritis etc.
10- Reduces Pre-menstrual Syndrome symptoms.
11- Helps in post-operative healing.
12- Enhances the immune system.
13- Reduces activity of viruses and emotional distress
14- Enhances energy, strength and vigour.
15- Helps with weight loss
16- Reduction of free radicals, less tissue damage
17- Higher skin resistance
18- Drop in cholesterol levels, lowers risk of cardiovascular disease.
19- Improved flow of air to the lungs resulting in easier breathing.
20- Decreases the aging process.
21- Higher levels of DHEAS (Dehydroepiandrosterone)
22- prevented, slowed or controlled pain of chronic diseases
23- Makes you sweat less
24- Cure headaches & migraines
25- Greater Orderliness of Brain Functioning
26- Reduced Need for Medical Care
27- Less energy wasted
28- More inclined to sports, activities
29- Significant relief from asthma
30- improved performance in athletic events
31- Normalizes to your ideal weight
32- harmonizes our endocrine system
33- relaxes our nervous system
34- produce lasting beneficial changes in brain electrical activity
35- Cure infertility (the stresses of infertility can interfere with the release of hormones that regulate ovulation).

Psychological benefits:
36- Builds self-confidence.
37- Increases serotonin level, influences mood and behaviour.
38- Resolve phobias & fears
39- Helps control own thoughts
40- Helps with focus & concentration
41- Increase creativity
42- Increased brain wave coherence.
43- Improved learning ability and memory.
44- Increased feelings of vitality and rejuvenation.
45- Increased emotional stability.
46- improved relationships
47- Mind ages at slower rate
48- Easier to remove bad habits
49- Develops intuition
50- Increased Productivity
51- Improved relations at home & at work
52- Able to see the larger picture in a given situation
53- Helps ignore petty issues
54- Increased ability to solve complex problems
55- Purifies your character
56- Develop will power
57- greater communication between the two brain hemispheres
58- react more quickly and more effectively to a stressful event.
59- increases one’s perceptual ability and motor performance
60- higher intelligence growth rate
61- Increased job satisfaction
62- increase in the capacity for intimate contact with loved ones
63- decrease in potential mental illness
64- Better, more sociable behaviour
65- Less aggressiveness
66- Helps in quitting smoking, alcohol addiction
67- Reduces need and dependency on drugs, pills & pharmaceuticals
68- Need less sleep to recover from sleep deprivation
69- Require less time to fall asleep, helps cure insomnia
70- Increases sense of responsibility
71- Reduces road rage
72- Decrease in restless thinking
73- Decreased tendency to worry
74- Increases listening skills and empathy
75- Helps make more accurate judgements
76- Greater tolerance
77- Gives composure to act in considered & constructive ways
78- Grows a stable, more balanced personality
79- Develops emotional maturity

Spiritual benefits:
80- Helps keep things in perspective
81- Provides peace of mind, happiness
82- Helps you discover your purpose
83- Increased self-actualization.
84- Increased compassion
85- Growing wisdom
86- Deeper understanding of yourself and others
87- Brings body, mind, spirit in harmony
88- Deeper Level of spiritual relaxation
89- Increased acceptance of oneself
90- helps learn forgiveness
91- Changes attitude toward life
92- Creates a deeper relationship with your God
93- Attain enlightenment
94- greater inner-directedness
95- Helps living in the present moment
96- Creates a widening, deepening capacity for love
97- Discovery of the power and consciousness beyond the ego
98- Experience an inner sense of “Assurance or Knowingness”
99- Experience a sense of “Oneness”
100- Increases the synchronicity in your life

Meditation is also completely FREE! It requires no special equipment, and is not complicated to learn. It can be practiced anywhere, at any given moment, and it is not time consuming (15-20 min. per day is good). Best of all, meditation has NO negative side effects. Bottom line, there is nothing but positive to be gained from it! With such a huge list of benefits, the question you should ask yourself is, “why am I not meditating yet?”

A Fable of Peace.

On the path to finding peace, novice Ke'ri decided that she would go into the sacred forest and look for Mau'sean, the reputed master of peace.   She had heard that no other enlightened being had ever reached the level of peace that Mau'sean had achieved.

The following day, she packed her things and took off for the sacred forest.   On the main road going from her village she noticed a middle aged woman bending over trying to give a bone to one of the mongrel dogs of the village.   It growled and bared its teeth, but the woman kept slowly moving the bone closer and closer to the dog.   Finally, the dog took it and began gnawing on it.   The woman smiled and sat down to watch the dog, playing with his bone.

She continued on her way.

After a while, Ke'ri came to a crossroads.   There were several vendors stalls setup selling vegetables and fruits of all kinds.  Immediately, Ke'ri heard a commotion near one of the stalls.   When she rounded the corner, she saw a large, red-faced man yelling at a small, older vendor.   He was holding a bunch of bananas in his hand, screaming at the man that they were too ripe, that the old man was pulling a fast one, and that he would sooner pay for these bananas that he would leap off a cliff.   The old man answered each of the questions and statements of red-faced man in a soft and assuring voice.   The old man said over and over that the other man could take the bananas at no cost since he was dissatisfied with them, or he could leave them and choose another from the stall.   Every time the vendor said this in the soft and reassuring voice, the red-faced man found another thing to complain about, and started yelling all over again.   Finally, the red-faced man threw down the bananas and stalked off in a huff.  The vendor bend down, dusted off the bananas and put them aside, greeting the next customer with a smile on his face and his calm, reassuring voice.

Ke'ri continued on her way down the road.  

There was an overturned wagon up ahead.   A large, burly man was trying to set one of the wheels back on the axle.  He put it on, gave it a spin, and the wheel did not turn.  Suddenly, the man laughed out loud, took the wheel off the axle, picked up a can of grease and greased the axle.  Then he picked the wheel back up, put it on the axle and gave it a spin.  He then righted the wagon, and wiping off the sweat from his forehead, smeared the grease over his face.  He looked at his palm, felt his face with his other hand, and when it came away greasy, he bellowed out another laugh.   Still chuckling, he took a rag from his pocket and cleaned off his face and hands.  Then he packed up the wagon and started on down the road.

It was getting late, but finally Ke'ri made it to the outskirts of the sacred forest.

To her surprise, sitting on a rock, seemingly waiting for her was Mau'sean, the master of peace.  She began begging him to show her the way to peace.   He looked at her for a while and then asked about her journey to the forest.

Ke'ri told him about the three incidents that she came across.  The woman and the dog, the vendor and the red-faced man, and the burly man and the wagon.

"You have asked to be taught the way of peace, but you have already seen the way."

Ke'ri, astonished said "I do not understand Mau'sean.  What way of peace did I see?"

"You saw the way of peace with the world with the woman and the dog.  You saw the way of peace with people in the vendor and the red-faced man.   You saw the way of peace with yourself in the burly man and the wagon."

"But I still do not understand."

"In each encounter, you saw a person making the choice to be at peace.  The woman chose to be loving to the dog, sharing in it's joy and it shared in her joy."

"The vendor chose to respond with peace and understanding to the red-faced man, even though he could have chosen to argue or even fight back with the man.   It was his choice of peace he made."

"Finally, the man and the wagon chose to be at peace with himself.   Even though he had problems, he chose to see the humor of the situation, and to laugh at himself.   Thus he chose to be at peace with himself."

"You do not need my help my friend.   You have now seen that the way of peace is the choices we make to be at peace with ourselves, others, and the world.   Go and continue to make that choice daily."

Have Your Thoughts Brought You Inner Peace?

There is a criterion by which you can judge whether the thoughts you are thinking and the things you are doing are right for you. That criterion is, Have they brought you inner peace? If they have not, there is something wrong with them - so keep trying. - Peace Pilgrim

Peace Pilgrim was a woman dedicated to spreading peace throughout the U.S.   You can learn a lot more about her on the Internet.   She was an example of what a truly peaceful person can bring to the world.   So what she has said in the past, is something to which I pay attention.

Are my thoughts right for me?


Do you know that if I apply this question to my thoughts, most of them are not peace-filled nor peace bringing.   I am being honest.   This is really a sobering experience.

My mind is not training to have peaceful thoughts.   Some thoughts are very self-destructive, in that I concentrate on the things that I do not have, but that I want.   You may say there is nothing wrong with that.   Everyone does it.   But when is it too much?   When I focus on what I do not have, nor have power over, I get frustrated.   I am either sad that I do not have something in my life which I desire, or I get angry because I see other people have those things.   This is not peace.   I know that whatever I focus on, expands.   My feelings of frustration just grow as I focus on things that are frustrating.

Some other thoughts do nothing but preoccupy the silence in my mind.   They do not bring peace, but rather take a concept or thought and run with it, delineating it to the nth degree.   Again you might say what is wrong with that?   It is a matter of what the outcome of this kind of thinking turns our to be.   According to the quote above, if it does not add to the overall peace, I need to change my thoughts.   Try again.

If I see a way in which my Church can minister to those in need, I can think about it, reformulate it, look at it from different angles, posture, theorize, marshal resources in my mind, make plans, and at the end, decide that the way the church is doing something could definitely be improved.  How does this bring peace?   Have I told anyone.   Have a made a true contribution to making the church's ministry better.   Or was it just the mental gymnastics that I enjoy more than actually doing anything that would help to spread peace.  

Now I love to think.   I have said this several times in these blogs.   It has just struck me that even if my thoughts bring me frustration, sadness, anger, despair, depression, angst, conflict, that I still spend time thinking about them, that I must still love thinking these things, or love thinking period.  

When I think about the peaceful, loving experiences in my life, how I may bring peace, healing, love to others, or how others have brought those things to me, I am brought to a place, a thought, a mental construct of peace.   In this place of thought, I can most effectively share peace with others.  

Have your thoughts brought you inner peace?

When Artists Inspire Me.

I visited a fellow artist today.   His art is a combination of the musings, ramblings, serious reflection, and humor of his faith, mixed in with disturbing and though-provoking images.  

I marvel at his work.   There are some paintings that capture the attention; that draw in the eye into a complete story being unveiled in each scene.   When I look at it, I immediate have a feeling like I have entered another world, a complete story which has just started to unfold in front of me.

This is an artist who humbles my own meager efforts to create art.  

What this visit really revealed to me is that all great artists (which I consider this artist to be) have a passion for sharing their view of the world not only of the seen, but of the unseen.   In many ways, I find them to be more connected to the spiritual world than other people.

For example, one of his painting shows a scene from the Old Testament, but is done in the dress and background of the Incan empire.  The king and his subjects are actually skeletons, and the motif of the piece seems to be one of having an empire of death.   Yet, this is just the surface meaning.   Hidden within the painting are little anti-Roman cryptograms, trappings of the priesthood of not only the Jews but of the Incan High Priests, carrying out their religious and (implied sacrificial) offerings.   It is packed with questions, insight, juxtaposing normal everyday activities with high-religious images, amidst a background of a civilization that was based on death, celebrated death and in many ways worshiped death.

These are the artists that inspire me, because the are not afraid to be controversial.   They have a willingness to put their expressions out into the world for all to see (and to comment either for or against.)

Rose Colored Glasses - How could you Believe That!!!!

You may notice that I have talked about this topic before.   However, some topics shout out for more attention.
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I have been called unrealistic.   Yes.   Even me! (I say this with tongue in cheek!)

Some acquaintances of mine have asked me why I choose to see what I see in some people.   "Dude, the world is not what you see through your Rose Colored Glasses.   People are sometimes cruel and selfish.   Grow up!"

I admit it that sometimes I see people very differently.   Their cruelty and selfishness, fears and ambitions are there.   I do not dismiss them.  I see them.   There are situations that bring out the worst in human behavior.  At times it is difficult to see those people as anything other than what they did that offended or hurt me.   My knee-jerk reaction is to put up my defenses, and to see them as "bad people" (I can use stronger words than this...but not in a blog.)  I still do that from time to time, but fewer times now.

Since really spending time in the morning and night meditating, it becomes easier to look at people's actions first through a filter of understanding.   When I understand what and why they are acting like they do, they become more human, more like me, and therefore I feel the need to "label" or denigrate them in my own thoughts lessen.  Second, I am beginning to see that most actions of others are motivated by fear.   I was just like this (and to a great degree I still am) not too long ago.   The outwardly selfish or cruel actions are usually coming from a place of fear of not having something, loosing something, or being hurt by others.  Last, I see people as having the same desires that I have.  They seek after peace, they want love, understanding and acceptance.   We all do.  

Fear as a Motivator

I have written about when fear should be overcome with love, cancelled out by the opposite emotion, and not have decisions based on fear in your life.

I have to backtrack just a little.

There are times that fear as a motivator does work very well indeed.   In fact, there are some moments that it is indeed the exact way to react.

I have a friend that had her daughter accosted by an adult because of a comment she made to her son.   The woman called the girl over and proceeded to berate and harass her.   The mother, acting on that protective instinct, put herself between the woman and my friend's daughter.   Any parent would probably do the same.   A threat of any type directed toward a person's child does require an immediate response.

Other time there may be a child playing in the street, a person who might get burned on a stove, or an elderly or disabled person being bullied or even abused by another.   All these situations require fast action.  They may indeed require fear.

If there were time, and the level of threat, or perceived injustice were smaller, then a loving response could indeed change things.   With split second actions required, fear is perfectly fine as a motivator.

After the threat has been addressed, then a loving and fair approach to the situation may be employed.

If you can, overcome fear with love.   If not, respond to fear, up until the point where fear either disappears because there is no longer any threat or chance of injury,  or where fear is still present even after the immediate threat is addressed, let time and patience  be employed to once again overcome fear with love.

Talent - Everyone has some.

Each of us really is talented.

I have heard so many people say that they have no talent, no gifts, no strengths.   It is amazing how many people are firmly convinced that they have no talent at all.

I sometimes teach pottery classes.   There have been students that were so negative, that they almost talked them out of even trying to throw the first piece.   Yet, I do not teach the mind of the students.   I teach the body.   It is the fingers and wrists, arms and palms, body position and posture that really determine how well one can throw.   Once they can center the clay once, if allowed, the body remembers and can do it again.

That is the problem with people who think they have no talent.  They are limiting themselves by THINKING that they have no talent.  Yet, their spirit knows different.

If we are like what we came from, and we came from God, then we have to have the following somewhere within us:

1.  The ability to create something, to bring together unrelated pieces and form something new.
2.  Imagination that can conceive of whatever we believe we can conceive.
3.  The urge, the motivation and the satisfaction in the process of creation.
4.  A strong desire to show others how to create for themselves.

If this is true (and I wholeheartedly agree with it) then anyone has the talent to create.   Anyone.

If you can make people laugh, you have talent.
Baking bread (because I cannot to save my life) means that you have talent.
Raising children means that you really have talent.
Finding the most economic way to get to and from work means you have talent.
Blogging means that you have talent.
Twittering means that you have talent.
Being a good sister or brother, son or daughter, mother or father means that you have talent.
Being a football referee (especially in Texas) means that you have talent.  (And a lot of courage).
Cleaning a house really well means that you have a ton of talent.

But in addition to these examples, anything that you have done, even once, to add to the world something new, then you have the talent to do it again.

No one has no talent at all.   In fact, if you find such a person, then they are perfectly talented at being the absolute best general student for all those others that wish to teach their talents.   A most talented student indeed.