The Deep End - Watch Out

On numerous occasions, I have been so caught up in living in the deep end, that I have forgot that it is in the deep end that I and others can drown.

For example, years ago, when I was out of college, had a job with the state, a place of my own, I tried dating.   Yes, even me.

There was one lady with whom I started a wonderful email conversation.   Several emails into it and I thought it was headed toward something, though I had never met her in person.   She was a friend of a friend.   That kind of thing.

On the fourth email, something just happened to my self-governor and all these weighty matters, opinions, and intense perceptions just came out.   All communication ceased on her part.    I wrote another couple of emails, asking after her, but nothing.

I looked over that email, and put myself in her shoes.   What seemed to be a light and humorous exchange of ideas in the past 3 emails was overcome by this serious monologue that showed a person, not light and pleasant but deep and brooding.   I was astonished that this email even came from me.  

I got to the point that I was comfortable enough to launch myself into the deep end.   She was not in the same place.   Later, I learned that she had met someone else, not long after this email.   Such is life.

The point of this little sojourn into my past is that I was so excited about sharing my deep feelings and thoughts with someone that I bypassed that little thing called small-talk.   I did not wait until both people in the relationship were comfortable with this intensity, but only waited until I was comfortable.

A few years later, I was on the opposite end of this experience.

I met the sister of one of my friends at the state.   She was wickedly intelligence.   I love intelligent women.  She not only got all of my second and third related quotes, humor, insights, etc., but she blew me out of the water with some of hers.   The first date was fantastic.   I could live in the deep end with ease with this person.   Or so I thought.

It quickly became apparent that she placed so much significance in absolutely everything that I said and did and that she took life so seriously that I was the one who tried to lighten things up.   I told jokes, quips, puns.   I tried to change the subject on multiple occasion when things were getting too intense.   It just so happened that circumstances changed in such a way that she left for another city and we stopped talking. 

From these two experiences, I can finally see that small-talk, humor, light conversation and fun is so important because even I (who have lived in the deep end most of my life) need to paddle and splash in the shallow end from time to time.

Every moment is pregnant with significance.   But even pregnancy has its funny points (or so I have heard).