Loving Yourself - Step 12

At last, we are at the end of the 12-step blog on loving yourself.  

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1. To admit we are powerless over what others think of us.
2. To come to believe that a Power greater than ourselves loves us regardless of anything we do.
3. To make a decision to see ourselves as that higher power of unconditional love sees us.
4. To Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
5. To Admit to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the ways we limit loving ourselves.
6. To face these limits, work through our fears in order to love ourselves.
7. To humbly ask that greater power to open our hearts to the love in our lives.
8. To make a list of all the times we have harmed ourselves and forgive ourselves for them
9. To learn to identify when we feel shame and guilt for what we have done to ourselves, and change it to thoughts of what we have done well, what actions we can take to make positive changes in our lives from this point on
10. To take personal inventory and when we are self-critical, to promptly admit it and change.
11. To seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand God, praying only for knowledge of God's love for us and the power to love ourselves with that love!
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we will to carry this message to all who are ready to love themselves, and to ourselves when we may falter in these steps.
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Step 12:  Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we will to carry this message to all who are ready to love themselves, and to ourselves when we may falter in these steps.

The most important thing about loving yourself and going through these steps is the realization you can now use these tools and principles to help other people.


Helping others is a significant part of loving yourself, and there are many ways that this gets passed on. When you live it and share it with others, you are carrying the message that everyone is worthy, capable, and deserving to love themselves fully.  In practicing the step 12 you will find that:

• By loving others by witnessing to how you have learned to love yourself, that your appreciation of the love you have for yourself and it's impact on your life deepens.
• By hearing the stories of other's jorneys, you are reminded of where you were when you started.
• By modeling to others, you become aware that you need to practice what you preach.
• By giving to others, you develop bonds with new people who you need and who really need you.
• By helping others, you give what you have received.
• By supporting new beginnings, you revitalize your own efforts.

The selfless service of this work is the very principle of step 12. We received our ability to love ourselves from the God of our understanding, so we now make ourselves available as His tool to share this with those who seek it. Most of us learn in time that we can only carry our message to someone who is asking for help. Sometimes the only message necessary is to show by the power of example.  

I now love myself better, and show it in all my thoughts, words and actions, in an effort to be true to the person I am becoming, and to love and serve those around me and help them in any way in their journey of loving themselves.

Step 12 really is the time when we create a mission statement for what we will do with this new and renewed sense of self-love.   We have been loved and now we love in return.   We have breathed in the unconditional love from a greater power, seen and practiced how it can change our own ability to love ourselves, and are now ready to breath out; to spread that love of self to others.

For myself, I never feel more loving toward myself than when I have helped show another not only what to love in themselves but how to do it.   Life takes on a new meaning when you witness others starting to love and trust themselves; when they begin to see themselves through that divine focus of unconditional love.


We best love ourselves by putting into practice with others, the love we now feel in us.