Being Kind to My Younger Self

When looking over my life, there were moments that I wish I could have to do over again.  There was a girl, who I later learned, wanted to go out with me.  I liked her too, but never did anything about it.   Another time I wish that I had kept my mouth shut when what I said truly hurt someone I cared for.

These are the kinds of things that I regret.  Not keeping up with a lifetime friend, or letting other relationships fizzle out.   Yes.   I have regrets.

However, I know people for whom the simple regret is not enough.  I have seen a grown man hit his head against the wall (literally) while calling himself an a** hole because he didn't trust his girlfriend and pushed her away emotionally from his constant accusations and insecurity.  Other people to whom I have spoken have similar feelings about their past actions.  They are angry at themselves, or call themselves fools, or truly hate their younger selves.  

Why is it so hard to sometimes look at our selves with mercy, grace and compassion?

Is it simply because we have not forgiven ourselves for the mistakes we have made in the past?   Or is it that we can freely heap abuse upon ourselves, be angry, bitter because it is more accepted to do this than be angry or bitter toward another?   Do people really hate themselves?

I have even heard an acquaintance of mine say that if he met himself back in High School that he would kick his own a**.

I now look back on myself and my life with compassion.  Sure, there were times that I was arrogant, pushy, egotistical, self-centered.  Yet, I can also see the boy who was limited by his fears, shackled by the everyday concerns of being accepted or loved.  He was not someone I would shout to or insult.  He was someone deserving of love and support.  I have the highest hopes for the younger me.   His life is more full and abundant than he can even realize right now.  I have patience for him, for he needs it while he is growing.

How do you see yourself at a younger age?  Was it a person with whom you could show love and compassion, or someone you would treat with scorn?  If you met someone like them today, how would you respond to them?  Would you even hang out, or would you distance yourself?  Can you love the younger you?