Christian Mysticism - Breathing in and Out

Yes.  Another blog on Christian Mysticism. 

These ramblings are really an attempt to explain this whole experience to myself.  Sometimes I think I am writing to a large audience, but I am really engaging in a voyage of spiritual discovery.

Now on to Mysticism.

Of all the things I have read about Christian Mysticism, there seems to be a common thread that whatever the experience of one's ultimate reality (God, Jesus, etc) it involves a lot of introspection, meditation, contemplation.

For the last 15 months, that is what I have been doing.  I try to meditate.  I try to spend time with nature.  To see the beautiful among the ordinary.  To be aware of every sensation in my body, and to dismiss those sensations sometimes, to get to a greater state of relaxation.  Daydreams, visions, lucid dreaming, whatever you may call it, cause hundreds of sharp images to come to me when I need them. 

When I need to reorient my perceptions away from being self-centered, self-focused, images of sharing, caring, service, loving-kindness are generated, or perceived, or whatever in my mind's eye.  It does not take the focus off of myself, but includes others in a cycle of giving, receiving, mutual service, mutual caring that takes place.  Humbleness then happens because the picture has become greater than just myself.

Sometimes it is like watching videos of what has happened, or what may happen.  If I find my thoughts are dwelling more on depressive, self-defeating thoughts and my emotions are not too far behind, that a video is projected in my mind of singing in front of children, of holding the hand of those that have almost forgotten human touch.  Even videos of me dropping a plate and laughing uproariously.  Or having a mule sit on me (which actually happened).  It also sometimes expands into a vision of people I know who do not laugh, nor smile very much, hearing the best joke of their life, and roaring with unbridled guffaws.

There are surprises too.  I can be in the middle of meditating, and emotions just come up, so strong, for no reason at all.  Mostly, these are times of joy, love, understanding.  Sometimes, they literally bring tears to my eyes.

I have found out that these times of self-introspection, and meditation and times of peace are necessary.  I see why so many historical Christian Mystics wrote about them.  The mountain-top experiences.  They are engaging, sensational (filling the senses); a nice break from reality.

But it is like breathing.  If I only spend time with myself, it is like taking a large breath and holding it forever.  There is no where for that breath to go, nothing for it to do.

Breathing out; taking the experiences of the self, the recharged, re-centered, renewed me and using it to listen, to laugh, to serve, to love others is absolutely vital for my spiritual life.

Getting back to the Christian element; this sharing of the gifts and talents with others is when the real benefits of that self-introspection really happen.  It is, in the walk of the Christian Mystic, the expression of the presence of God. 

I have felt the presence; been sheltered by the presence; recharged through the presence' and now I need to express the presence.

Yet, unlike breathing out, I am not getting rid of anything, but adding another dimension to those things given me by God in the first place.  It goes from being a two-way practicing the presence to a community practicing the presence. 

The visions that recharge me are added to by the visions that recharge others.

The overwhelming feelings of love and understanding, are supplimented, are multiplied by the feelings of others.

Truly, "love your neighbor as yourself," becomes, "love your neighbor to the level, to the furthest expression of how you love yourself!"  What happens is that you find in that cycle; the more love you show, the more love you have to show.

"Take up your cross and follow me," becomes, "Be like Christ, your foundation, a perfect loving model, and show it forth!"  It is not a burden, but a gift to love others!

How can I feel the presence of God, the glorious experience of the way of Christ, if I do not love outside of myself, as I have been loved inside of myself.  

I tell myself to love everywhere that God loves.   This doesn't leave anywhere, anytime out.

The Christian Mystic's journey is never-ending.   There do need to be times of solitude; times of reflection; times of prayer.  Then there need to be times of living in community, breathing out, sharing. 

The breathing in and out of the presence is truly the breathing in and out of life.